Let’s Talk About Travel Stress
Traveling with kids can be exciting, memorable, and (let’s be honest) more than a little stressful. Different beds, unfamiliar foods, long travel days, and new time zones can throw everyone off their groove. It’s so prevalent that in a 2024 study, a whopping 78% of parents with kids under 18 reported stress related to travel arrangements.
At EKC, it’s one of the most common concerns we navigate during the summer holidays: how do you balance the vacation mayhem? It makes sense: when you’re far from your usual support network, any molehills can feel like mountains.
In this installment of our “Let’s Talk About….” series, we’re tackling summer stressors with flexibility, self-compassion, and a little planning. With the right coping strategies in place, you can help your kids (and yourself!) feel calmer, more connected, and better able to enjoy anything your trip throws your way.
Creating Comfort “On The Go”
Kids thrive on familiarity. This isn’t a hot take: we’ve been studying the correlation between routine in childhood and long-term success for decades. It’s especially applicable to neurodivergent children, but holds true across the board. The good news is, you don’t need to be in a familiar space to keep up with familiar patterns.
But how to make a routine? Keep in mind that they don’t need to be elaborate. Something as simple as reading a story before bed, saying the same nighttime phrase (sleep tight!), or having breakfast together can be reassuring.
Breakfast can actually be a great time to keep up a routine out of the house. Familiar breakfast foods can often be taken or found on the go (think: oatmeal packets, eggs, toast, croissant). It’s extra nice if you can make a little routine out of it wherever you’re staying. This can be as easy as sitting in the same seat, asking the same morning questions, and making or explaining plans. This little bit of predictability can act as an anchor and a good start to the day.
You can also build some predictability into the day. Keeping a couple consistent touchpoints, like the same snack or quiet activity every afternoon can help reduce anxiety and make transitions smoother.
The same goes for bedtime! Maybe you can’t keep the exact bedtime from home because of time zones or evening activities, but that’s fine. You can still keep the order of bedtime the same: brush teeth, change into pajamas, read a book, lights out. Even if it’s shifted an hour later, it’s still warm and comfortable.
When you head home, it might take a few days for everyone to readjust to the old schedule. This is completely normal. Kids are often way more adaptable than we give them credit for. They’ll bounce back.
Letting Go of Perfection
One of the biggest stress triggers for parents during travel is the pressure to do everything “right.” We imagine that if we “just plan enough,” we’ll keep the kids on schedule, fit in the sightseeing, eat balanced meals, and have magical moments. But vacation’s not regular life: schedules, spaces, and resources will be different. Trying to hold your family to the same expectations you have at home can lead to frustration and guilt.
There are going to be those times where your kids have had more ice cream than usual because it’s hot and you’re walking all day. Maybe they skip a nap to catch a ferry. Maybe they’re just overwhelmed and cranky from new things and sounds and there hasn’t been a second to catch a breath. This is all just part of vacation and the best thing you can do is roll with it. The more you can accept that things will be different, the more you’ll protect your own energy.
Instead of striving for “perfect,” aim for “this works for us right now.” If bedtime happens later, a planned activity gets skipped, or your kids are running on sugar and screentime for a couple hours, it doesn’t mean the trip’s a failure. Sometimes the most meaningful moments happen in the unscripted gaps, like sitting in a park sharing snacks because the museum was too crowded.
Slllooooowwwww Dowwwwwnnn (Especially on Travel Days)
This is great advice straight from Kate Berger: when in doubt, slllloooowwww dowwwwnnnnn. It applies to the entire trip but especially travel days. Travel days are naturally more tiring (and often more chaotic) than “regular days.” Between security checks, luggage handling, ticket gates, and delays, it’s easy to slip into Power Through Mode. But constantly rushing can leave everyone frazzled before you even arrive.
Instead, build in pauses and little pockets of fun. At the airport, let your kids pick a pastry from a café they’ve never tried, or play “I Spy.” On a train, try bringing a small surprise toy. During a road trip, stop at a scenic spot for ten minutes (bonus if the kiddos can run around a little), even if it’s not strictly on the way. These moments don’t just break up the stress, they remind kids (and parents) that travel can be enjoyable even between destinations. It really is about the journey, if you’ll pardon us the platitude.
Your own stress levels matter here, too. Kids often mirror the moods of the adults around them. If they sense that you’re tense, they may become irritable or anxious. Staying calm when things don’t go as planned helps children feel safer and less worried. To this end, you can try any easy coping strategies that work for you: deep breaths, grounding exercises, or having a quick snack.
The exciting thing is, you’re not only helping ground yourself—you’re modeling beautiful behavior for your kids too. It’s especially great if you can include them. “Okay! Let’s take a breath.” Or “Stop! Pause! Breathe! What are we feeling in our bodies?” helps them feel more connected and regulated, too. If need be, you can follow up with a “Let’s shake out the wiggles!” to release tension with a little movement.
If a tense moment happens (and it probably will at some point), take some time later to revisit it together. You might say something like, “I was feeling rushed earlier and I snapped when you were trying to get my attention. I’m sorry. I love you and want to hear what you have to say.” Repairing any strain reassures kids that the relationship is still strong and shows how to make a meaningful apology.
Avoid the Temptation to Overschedule
When we travel, it’s tempting to pack every day with activities to “make the most” of the trip. But constant “Go! Go! Go!” can quickly lead to exhaustion for kids and parents alike.
Children don’t need every moment filled with planned entertainment. In fact, downtime can help them process what they’ve seen and give them space to relax. A day spent swimming in the hotel or just hanging out in a local park can be just as valuable as a day of sightseeing.
Leave some days or afternoons open for rest or spontaneous choices. If you do book certain attractions ahead of time, ask yourself if you’ll be okay if plans fall through due to illness, weather, or travel delays. If the answer is no, it might be better to choose an option that doesn’t require a fixed schedule.
Some families like to plan “one main thing” per day and keep the rest open. This allows flexibility if the kids wake up tired, or if you stumble on something unexpected and wonderful. That way, you won’t miss that cool street festival, a quiet café with a primo playplace, or a playground with a spectacular view.
Traveling with Teens
Teens often handle travel differently than younger kids. They might need personal space to unwind or time to connect with friends, even while on vacation. Trying to force the whole family to do every activity together can create tension.
Instead, involve them in the planning. Ask what they’d like to do and work together to find a balance between everyone’s interests. When teens feel they have a say, they’re more willing to join in for activities that aren’t their first choice.
For example, if a teen knows they have a couple hours free in the evening they might be more likely to be down for a family hike in the morning. It’s important to let their free time be free though—let them choose how to spend it. Maybe it’s FaceTiming a friend, watching a show, listening to music, or just hanging out.
Giving teens autonomy wherever possible is key to helping them feel more relaxed while on a trip. Let them choose the restaurant one night, then you choose the next. It’s all about collaboration. The combo of letting them help plan and giving them breathing space can prevent burnout and keep the mood lighter for everyone.
Sleeping Away from Home
A good night’s sleep can make or break a travel day. Even in smaller spaces, try to create some separation between parents’ and kids’ sleeping areas. This might look like setting up a fold-out bed in a corner, using a travel crib, or even hanging a blanket as a divider.
Bringing familiar items helps, too. Consider a favorite pillow, a soft toy, a sleep mask, or a calming tea. These small comforts signal to kids, “this is a safe space to rest,” even when the surroundings are new.
If your child has consistent sleep anxiety while away, consider talking to a therapist before your trip. This can be especially helpful if past travel included challenges like nightmares or difficulty falling asleep. Professional support can help you prepare strategies and keep your mindset positive and confident no matter where you are.
That’s where EKC comes in.
Expat Kids Club isn’t just for people who live abroad-–it’s for anyone who identifies as a current or former expat and needs support, anywhere in the world. We also offer video consults and appointments so our clients can build a stable, trusting relationship with their therapist, no matter where life takes them.
We specialize in helping people navigate new experiences and situations from the universal to the unique. Our mission is to help kids, teens, and families build resiliency, discover their identities and values, and form healthy coping strategies to manage the tough moments.
EKC recognizes the importance of treating the family as a unit, bringing everyone together. We work with an individual approach and a systemic mindset to determine the best through any challenge.
Schedule a call today to speak with one of our therapists and see how we can help your family thrive.