Dear EKC: Should We Start Therapy Before the Move?

Dear EKC, 

Our family is moving—again. This will be our third international move in six years. My husband and I are used to the logistics and everything that comes with packing up our lives, and honestly, the move’s for us. It’s so my husband can start a new job. I feel bad because our 9-year-old daughter seems like this move is hitting her a little harder than the last ones.

She’s been really quiet since we told her. Some nights, she cries at bedtime even though she tries to hide it. She keeps asking if her friends will forget about her, or if her new school will be “too different.” 

Yesterday, she burst into tears at dinner because I used the word “last” when talking about our weekend plans. And I get it–there are a lot of “lasts” right now. The “last time” we’ll go to our favorite park, the “last time” we’ll eat at the café. The goodbyes are hard for her, and we haven’t even packed a box yet. 

I’ve been thinking about getting her some support, maybe starting therapy. But the timing gives me pause. We’re only a month out from the move and I’m wondering if it’s better to wait until we’re in the new place and things are more settled. I don’t want to overwhelm her with another “new thing” right before everything changes. At the same time, she’s carrying so much. She’s already starting to hide her crying—I’m worried she’ll stop talking to us about her other feelings too.

So I guess my question is—does it really make sense to start therapy now, knowing we’ll be uprooted so soon? 

—Too Much Too Soon? 

Dear Soon, 

Oh my goodness, that’s such a mixed bag. It’s exciting news about your family’s upcoming move! Congratulations to your husband on his new job. And also, it’s such an understandable time to feel a bit unsure about what kind of support is best for your daughter right now. Thank you for writing in, for sharing so openly. 

We hear this question a lot from parents in transition—” Is it too soon to start therapy?” And the answer is almost always: not at all. In fact, starting therapy before a move can offer something really meaningful. Therapy is a place of emotional steadiness when everything else is starting to shift. 

Moves stir up so many feelings for kids—and adults too. Stress about the unknown, excitement about what’s ahead, sadness about leaving friends, confusion about what it means to belong. Even children who seem “used to it” or outwardly adaptable can still experience a ton of mixed emotions under the surface. It’s a lot for a young nervous system to handle on its own. 

Having a space each week to sort through those feelings—with someone who isn’t a parent or teacher—can be such a relief. Even just three or four sessions can make a noticeable difference. Therapy isn’t just about solving problems; it’s about creating room to feel, reflect, and ask questions they might not know how to put into words. It’s about offering support before stress shows up as meltdowns, sleep disruptions, or school resistance. 

The pre-move period can feel like a blur. Routines start to change or fall away, rooms fill with boxes, everyday life turns upside down. For your daughter, a weekly therapy session can be a calm, predictable space in the chaos. That sense of routine can be so comforting—something she can count on while everything else is in motion. 

And here’s the wonderful thing: therapy doesn’t have to stop when you move. At Expat Kids Club, we have therapists who work remotely, and they’re used to moving right alongside families. Your daughter can keep working with the same therapist before, during, and after the move—whether you’re crossing countries or heading “back home.” That continuity can be incredibly grounding. She’ll have a familiar face to talk with about both her old life and new, all in one place. 

We also love using therapy to help kids create a “Goodbye and Hello” book. It’s a creative, gentle way for them to process what they’re leaving behind, honor their memories, and start to imagine what’s ahead. It’s also a tool for closure and curiosity: two feelings that often show up together during big changes. 

Therapy can also help with practical skills: how to say goodbye to friends, how to introduce yourself at a new school, and managing worries. And beyond those skills, there’s the deeper message it sends: your feelings matter, even in the middle of big changes. Especially then.

Starting your daughter in therapy now isn’t about fixing anything—it’s about giving your daughter a soft place to land, a place to feel heard. Let’s help her carry those feelings she might not quite know how to name. You’re already showing her that it’s okay to ask for help and talk about hard things. That alone is powerful. 

We’re here for you and your family every step of the way, and we’d be honored to be a part of your support system. 

Warmly, 

Daphne Bouchépillon

Therapist & Ad hoc EKC Team Member